that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize