he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
