So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Randomize
