so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
