Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Reggie can tackle my bush.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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