Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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