Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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