She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
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