he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Randomize
