Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
