420 ftw
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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