also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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