He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
