and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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