i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
