This girl is more easily done than said...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
