The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
