I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Randomize
