There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
