He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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