it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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