porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
