i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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