Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
i think i just lost a toe
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