i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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