I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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