Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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