well most of my day revolves around power hour
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
