Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
