thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
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