Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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