sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
