SEEEEXXX PLEASE
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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