she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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