I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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