If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
