that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
