Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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