Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
