Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
