I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
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