you turned your livingroom into a bong?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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