your thong is hanging out like whoa
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
