We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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