if only i could text you this smell
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
