He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Last time i carry you out of a forest
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
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