It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
