operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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