Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
