Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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