Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
we should paint friendship bongs
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
