If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.