Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
These 23 People Had The Most Insane Spring Breaks Ever
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
25 Women On How They Let Their Oblivious Partners Know They Want To Bone
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.