THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
