I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE