Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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