my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
