Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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