Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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