All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
