D3 body, D1 cock
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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