Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
