i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
