Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
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I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
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Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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