dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
