Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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