I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Randomize
