I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
MIDGETS
????
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
