i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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