I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
