If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Randomize