K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
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