i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
